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Dating Vanilla or Lifestyle


As a single female that has been active as a swinger it can be challenging to date.  When you think of dating someone you usually think of first….where do I find single guys?   There are a lot of sites out on the World Wide Web that are FREE, and those that are quite EXPENSIVE!  And of course there are your local clubs and bars that always seem to have quit the pickin.


I first started going to the bars and after about 6 months or so I decided that it isn’t for me because I would never meet anyone with good quality at a bar when either one of us would be stumbling around with another shot in our hands.  So I asked myself, do I really want to be in a relationship with someone that is a regular at a bar when I hardly drink at all?  Then I tried the dating sites.  WOW! I never knew how many fakes and flakes and cheaters there are online until recently.  I belong to one site that I finally determined must be all computer generated profiles or all men that are too scared to get out of the house and actually meet someone in person.    But when I joined the swingerlifestyle I found a totally different element of people all together and was fascinated by the kindness I found in most people there.   Of course I was dating someone at that time when I first joined but soon after that I became theelusive Single Female.


That was something I had never thought was a highly sought after commodity.  Was I the Unicorn?  I didn’t think so since I was still so new to everything but quickly started to find my niche and try new things.  I will say that I do not think I am a unicorn even though I have shared that intimate partnership with another couple on several occasions.  Since I do enjoy the swinger lifestyle and all it has to offer this is where my dilemma started.  I tried dating vanillas and LS’s single men and found that vanilla men don’t think like we do.  They have a problem with the threesome, or the act of seeing you go down on someone else.  They don’t see it as a turn on like we might.  I was oddly shocked at this because I thought all men thought that! LOL  So then I swore off dating all vanillas, but the problem there was I was slowly finding out that the single men in the swinger lifestyle were not looking for someone to date but just a partner to have benefits with.  Which is great for some, but it was still not quit what I was looking for either.  I also found that some men in the swinger lifestyle are not always as honest and I have found out there are a lot of cheating husbands.  Luckily I do have radar for this.


So where does this leave us?  What do I need to do now to find what I am looking for? I have decided that with my particular wants and desires I am leaving the swinger lifestyle  out of the topic of conversation with all men at first and want to get to know them and see if they are someone I might want a 2nd date with.  As I date and meet and still learn new things about myself and what I am looking for I will keep you up to date on how the dating is going.

Until next time!  *~Kisses & Licks~*

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1 Comment

  1. ameLganizt

    I've tried match and eharmony. My avcide would be to avoid eharmony altogether.Match.com is better because not everyone is looking for their soul mate and you can get to know someone on a date a lot easier because they aren't expecting to meet their future husband. Girls on eharmony must take those commercials very seriously because they all wanna go from a first date straight to the chapel.Not to mention, match is cheaper than eharmony, therefore there should be more subscribers.But there are a lot of free online dating sites that so many people swear by. I haven't tried any myself because I assume if its free, there could be more liars than on a site where you have to pay. Just google free online dating and you'll see plenty of them.Good luck.