On The Down Low: Men in the Swinger Lifestyle

Being on the down low is the controversial secret that has potentially dire consequences in the swinger community. While there are some men that openly state their sexual preferences on swinger dating sites, some don’t!  Why would anybody hide their sexual preference in a lifestyle that’s based on the ideals of being so open minded?

In case some of you don’t know….Down Low is variation of closeted homosexuality or bisexuality. In most cases it’s a married or single man posing as a heterosexual man, but really living as a bisexual man.

The funny thing about this subject is that we live in a subculture (swinging) and we have a subculture within our subculture if that makes sense. Do we force bisexual men to hide their preferences because straight men in the swinger lifestyle perpetuate hyper-masculinity?

A few weeks ago the wifey and I decided to make our own little min-porn movie. I wanted to see her get nasty with a single male and a single female; I thought it would be fun. But anyway…finding the single female was easy. But finding a quality single male for her was a task.  But finally…….. We found one! She picked out a young, fit, well groomed single male as her victim.  After exchanging a few emails and pictures, we decided to set up the meet.

We thought it might be better to meet her victim at a friend’s house before getting a hotel room for the recording.  So we headed over to one of our close friend’s house…..who just happens to be gay. Wifey shows our friend the pictures of her soon to be victim, and he pauses and says hmmmmm. Now this wasn’t the normal hmmmmmm, this was a different hmmmmmm.  He says ”I know that body”……..WTF?

Our friend takes us to his computer room, and pulls up BGC; a gay dating website (Something like a swinger dating site) and goes straight to the profile of her soon to be victim. And this profile clearly states that he is gay, which that contradicts the profile on the swinger dating site. What do you do?

Needless to say we didn’t follow through with our planned mini-porn.  What would you do in a situation like this? Do you ever look at the sexual preference of the male on couple’s profiles? I asked a few friends…..and they said no, only the female. Would you play with a couple if the male half is bi-sexual? Do you look at bi-sexual men differently in the lifestyle?

If you’re caught up in a similar situation……what would you do?

If you enjoyed reading this article, then you might also enjoy Double Standards by Shanna T