As a single female that has been active as a swinger it can be challenging to date. When you think of dating someone you usually think of first….where do I find single guys? There are a lot of sites out on the World Wide Web that are FREE, and those that are quite EXPENSIVE! And of course there are your local clubs and bars that always seem to have quit the pickin.
I first started going to the bars and after about 6 months or so I decided that it isn’t for me because I would never meet anyone with good quality at a bar when either one of us would be stumbling around with another shot in our hands. So I asked myself, do I really want to be in a relationship with someone that is a regular at a bar when I hardly drink at all? Then I tried the dating sites. WOW! I never knew how many fakes and flakes and cheaters there are online until recently. I belong to one site that I finally determined must be all computer generated profiles or all men that are too scared to get out of the house and actually meet someone in person. But when I joined the swinger lifestyle I found a totally different element of people all together and was fascinated by the kindness I found in most people there. Of course I was dating someone at that time when I first joined but soon after that I became the elusive Single Female.
That was something I had never thought was a highly sought after commodity. Was I the Unicorn? I didn’t think so since I was still so new to everything but quickly started to find my niche and try new things. I will say that I do not think I am a unicorn even though I have shared that intimate partnership with another couple on several occasions. Since I do enjoy the swinger lifestyle and all it has to offer this is where my dilemma started. I tried dating vanillas and LS’s single men and found that vanilla men don’t think like we do. They have a problem with the threesome, or the act of seeing you go down on someone else. They don’t see it as a turn on like we might. I was oddly shocked at this because I thought all men thought that! LOL So then I swore off dating all vanillas, but the problem there was I was slowly finding out that the single men in the swinger lifestyle were not looking for someone to date but just a partner to have benefits with. Which is great for some, but it was still not quit what I was looking for either. I also found that some men in the swinger lifestyle are not always as honest and I have found out there are a lot of cheating husbands. Luckily I do have radar for this.
So where does this leave us? What do I need to do now to find what I am looking for? I have decided that with my particular wants and desires I am leaving the swinger lifestyle out of the topic of conversation with all men at first and want to get to know them and see if they are someone I might want a 2nd date with. As I date and meet and still learn new things about myself and what I am looking for I will keep you up to date on how the dating is going.
Until next time! *~Kisses & Licks~*
About the Author
I read your blog, and I think your right on!! I was in a relationship with a women, with a women that I meet throw a friends in the LS. I had been in it for 13-14 yrs at that point. Hoped that it would work for us, but 2 yrs into it. She wanted out, said that she need to be the only women that I can play with. And it’s not that I can’t get out of the LS, but I wanted it to be PART of your lives. And that was not good enought for her.So i get were u are, it’s hard to tell vanilla women that don’t get the LS. I’m in the same boat as you. Your not alone!
So good to know that there are men out there going through the same thing we women are. It is a very touchy subject at best.
Your comments are so true. I as a newly single woman am finding the same issues you are. Afraid to tell a vanilla man I enjoy the LS in fear or rejection, or worse thinking your a slut. I’m not LoL, just a highly sexual woman who enjoys her variety and spice of life. So til Mr Right comes along I’m following the same lines you do.
Thanks so much for your feeddback. True it is very hard to find the right one in and out of the LS which I truely think it makes it that much more difficult when you are in the LS.
Way to go Barbie!!